Adio Reh Assius Ceh

This is my revised version. It's much shorter. I also gave a shot at Iambic Pentameter and Elizabethean Language (cough, epic fail, cough). If you can't understand a word, my previous entry has the same story outline in a modern, narrative form. It's also much longer.

Here goes..

William:
Today we have a guest who wishes to
agnize us on the power of Caesar.
Cassius--

Cassius:
Good morrow, William.

William:
--believes that we should not be loyal to
Caesar, the humble, kind leader we know
he is. Would this be correct, Cassius?

Cassius:
Indeed, William. My brothers and I
think that Caesar is not, as you so say,
‘humble’, nor ‘kind’. In fact, we believe the
opposite. Caesar says, ‘Let there be men
among me who are fat’. Caesar rejects
the crown from Mark Antonius, a dear
friend of his, but not without a look of
hunger in his eyes. Caesar is cursed with
the falling sickness, and with one ear deaf.
Caesar is weak, yet thou feed him power.
Caesar is weak, yet thou consider a
crown on his head, great power in his hands.

William:
Caesar is weak, so you say, but we do
not think the same way as you do, we know
Caesar will rule Rome well, even better
than it’s previous leaders, hence Pompey.

Cassius:
Rome cannot stay loyal to one leader!
Though if thou choose an unfit man to lead,
thy lack of loyalty is understood.

William:
What makes you think that Caesar is not fit?

Cassius:
If you have not yet been convinced by my
previous reasons, thou consider this:
Th’look of hunger in his eyes will only
worsen over time. The people who had
assisted him to his position will
be quickly forgotten. He will become
a power-hungry tyrant, surely a
man you would not choose to rule all of Rome.

William:
Although this may be true, you have no proof.

Cassius:
Cassius knows there are better men to rule.
Taking a chance on Caesar is too much
of a risk. Putting power in his hands
would be a mistake.

William:
Caesar is kind to us and he would not
do the things that you believe he will do.

Cassius:
Was Caesar kind to the poor soothsayer?
No, Caesar was not. Although he had news
that could have been helpful to him! But no,
Caesar only believeth in himself. Kind!
The thought almost wants to maketh me laugh.

William:
That’s all the time we have for today, I
thanketh you for listening. This has been
William and Cassius.
[to Cassius]
Your words have convinced me, what should we do?